«Αιδοίων μονόλογοι»

H Ηβ Ενσλερ λέει:

«Το αιδοίο έχει το δικό του μυαλό. Υπάρχει ένα είδος σοφίας μέσα του, μια δύναμη. Τα παιδιά έρχονται από εκεί, είναι η αρχή των τόπων, εκεί από όπου όλοι ξεκινήσαμε. Είναι το μέρος των επιθυμιών μας. Πιστεύω ότι ως γυναίκες έχουμε εκπαιδευτεί στο να μην έχουμε επιθυμίες. Γιατί οι επιθυμίες έχουν δύναμη. Για την καταπίεση των επιθυμιών μας έχουν χρησιμοποιηθεί διάφορα μέσα. Ένα από αυτά είναι η κατασκευή ενοχής. Οι γυναίκες αισθάνονται ένοχες για τη σεξουαλικότητά τους. Σκεφθείτε όλους αυτούς τους μύθους που υπάρχουν για τις πόρνες. Η δική μου προσπάθεια μέσω του βιβλίου και της παράστασης ήταν να παρακινήσει τη γυναίκα να επανασυνδεθεί με τις επιθυμίες της και κατά συνέπεια με τη σοφία και τη δύναμή της. Βλέπετε, όταν ενώνεσαι με τις επιθυμίες σου δεν έχεις άλλη εκλογή από το να δράσεις στον κόσμο, να κάνεις επιλογές, και οι περισσότερες γυναίκες δεν επιλέγουν».

-Γιατί προκαλεί η λέξη «αιδοίο» σε μια εποχή άκρατης σεξουαλικότητας όπως η δική μας;
-Ιβ Ενσλερ: «Θεωρείτε ότι είμαστε απελευθερωμένοι σεξουαλικά; Παράσταση δίνουμε ανάλογα με τις εικόνες που βλέπουμε στα ΜΜΕ!».

«Αν ντυνόταν το αιδοίο σας, τι θα φορούσε;» «Αν το αιδοίο σας μπορούσε να μιλήσει, τι θα έλεγε με δυο λέξεις;» «Με τι θα παρομοιάζατε τη μυρωδιά του αιδοίου σας;» «Τι χαϊδευτικό όνομα έχετε για το αιδοίο σας;»


-Τι θα λέγατε να κάναμε τους δικούς μας "αιδοίων μονολόγους" απαντώντας για αρχή σε αυτές τις ερωτήσεις;



Λίγα αποσπάσματα από vagina monologues

 

 

Αιδοιοσηζήτηση παρά αιδοιολειχία;
Αι γυναίκαι ομιλούν πολύ,
δύο στόματα διαθέτουν...

 

Θα ελεγε " ελα . μεσα "

 

A penis has a rough life. His hair always looks a mess, he stays next to an asshole, his family is nuts, his best friends are pussies and his owner is always beating him.

 

I make the pussy purr withThe stroke of my handThey know they gettin' it from me. They know just where to goWhen they need their lovin man. They know I do it for free. They give me cat scratch fever

Ted Nugent

 

Some people say I'm a pussy. I say, you are what you eat.

Peter Steele

 

Girl Talk: I Have A Boring Vagina

 

The last time I spread my legs for a doctor (and no, I haven’t slept with anyone in scrubs), Lindsay Lohan was a law-abiding citizen. Somehow, I had managed to put off my visit to the friendly gyno longer than I cared to admit. A close friend’s recent alarming diagnosis post-gyno visit had fueled me into action. Oh, and my medical insurance suddenly had an expiration date. I’d just been laid off from a job I’d held down for the last six years, the lease on my New York City apartment was about to end, along with the dollars in my bank account. I was, in what you might call, a very large pickle.
Trying to get a grip on how to handle my imminent economic demise was like tossing darts at Jell-o. But things weren’t all bad. I did have one Happy Distraction: Isaac, an artist guy I’d been “hanging out with,” otherwise known as “dating,” for the past two months. Eight years older than me, he had mad dark curls that matched his passion for art and bands that only 14 other people in the world had heard of. And he could recite Snooki’s age (24) and explain her relevance, or irrelevance, backing his diatribes with cultural theory. Isaac left me notes in funny places, hid fruit roll-ups in my bag, and rearranged my book shelf when I wasn’t looking. Best of all, we had sex like teenagers. Note: neither one of us actually had any sex as teenagers, so we were making up for lost time.

“At least you have your health!” Isaac said when we discussed my predicament.

I appreciated the enthusiasm of his utterly unhelpful observation.

But it suddenly made me wonder, Did I? Did I really even have my health?

I needed comfort. Medical comfort. Just some reassurance that I was going to be OK, at least physically. I’d already been to the dentist. Twice in one moth. I filled out forms. People in white coats asked me how my day was going, would I like some water, and did I floss. Okay, yes please, and no.

The night before my gyno visit, Isaac and I bantered over instruments of the feminine persuasion.

“Doesn’t it look like this?” Isaac teased, pulling a metal garlic crusher out of my kitchen and waving it in the air.

It suddenly looked exceedingly large and threatening. I squirmed, crossing my legs and remembering why I had put off my gyno visit in the first place. I was disturbed by the prospect of metallic bodily invasions.

He grabbed another kitchen utensil. “Spatula! No, wait. Specula!”

“Close. Specu-lum. And it’s a lot bigger and colder than that.”

On Gyno Day, I checked my email one last time. Just in case someone in the working world wanted me. No one did.

In my inbox, however, was a message from Isaac:

Good luck today.

His email made thoughts of painful insertions and bad diagnoses dwindle, ever so slightly, and I grinned at my computer.

At the doctor’s office, I stripped and dressed in paper, as commanded. Awaiting my fate, I scanned the room for scary stuff: a pop-up model of a uterus impaled with a baby, and a pamphlet called “Vaginismus: When Sex Hurts.” I’d have preferred a window to stare out of.

A smiling, 40-something woman in a white coat walked in and started talking to me like we were two old friends going shoe shopping.

“I see you don’t like belts,” she said, laughing and kicking something on the floor.

I hadn’t noticed that my pink paper dress came with an accessory. That made me love her. Well, as much as you can love a gynecologist.

After the obligatory Q&A about my sex life, she told me to lie down and spread ‘em. But it sounded more like, “Now please come this way and swing your feet up here.”

She reached for something on the counter. I cringed. Oooh, here comes the garlic crusher!

I bit my tongue and gritted my teeth. She poked, prodded, and cranked as gingerly as possible. A few minutes later, she was ready to deliver the verdict. I closed my eyes tightly. This was the moment I’d been dreading. The moment where she told me something awful about my vagina.

“You’re boring down here,” she said.

“Huh?” I lifted my head off the human slab, my eyes popping open.

“Boring. Your vagina is boring,” she said.

“Boring?” I asked. “Is that … good?”

“Yes. I like boring. I don’t see boring very often!”

The Gyno had spoken. My vagina was blissfully boring. Boring had never sounded so beautiful to me. It seemed I’d made her day, as much as she had made mine. Skipping through the autumnal midtown streets, I couldn’t wait to share the news with Isaac later that night.

“Honey, my vagina is boring!” I shouted as I opened the door.

“But did you tell her what an exceptional job it does?” Isaac replied, laughing.

I may not have a clue what tomorrow holds for my future. But I can can sleep easier knowing I have a boring vagina. And for now, a man who begs to differ.

( http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-12-02/girl-talk-i-have-a-boring-vagina/)

 

“The embarrassing vagina story I never tell anyone.” Six women reveal all.


Every woman has some weird vagina stories. Every. Woman.

It’s just pretty damn difficult to difficult to navigate that thing sometimes. From sex to periods to foreign objects… No woman gets through life without some tales to tell.

So, in the spirit of honesty and sisterhood (but mostly laughs), we thought we’d provide a place for people to tell their weird vagina stories.

We crowd-sourced a bunch of crazy tales from a group of brave women (all anonymous of course), and these were the most… striking ones that came back to us.

Elusive woman number 1

“If my friend ever knew I was telling this story she would kill me but… When we were young and she had just got her period, her mum gave her tampons but didn’t really tell her what to do with them. One day at school she kept complaining that it didn’t seem like her tampon was working. She said she could feel it anf her undies were still covered in blood.

When I asked her to explain to me how she had put it in I figured out the problem: She had put the tampon up her bum. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life, poor thing. We joke about it now, but she was so mortified.”

image: http://i2.wp.com/mamamia-cdn.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/perfect-vagina.png

weird vagina stories
Even more subtle.
Elusive woman number 2

“It was dark one night and my hubby and I were about to do the deed. I reached over to the night stand and grabbed some lube, but a couple of minutes later we knew something wasn’t right. We switched the lights on and I had accidently used toothpaste! It wasn’t that bad – just a bit tingly. And god knows why toothpaste was on the bedside table. That’s just what happens when you have kids I guess.”

Elusive woman number 3

“I thought I could smell something weird one day, but I didn’t think anything of it. About an hour later I was running on the treadmill and my daughter walked past and said she could smell something gross as well. I was panicking that it was BO, but she said it smelled like something else. Something ‘fishy’.

Then it dawned on me. I ran to the bathroom and checked – I had a tampon in my vagina… But I hadn’t had my period for over a week. Disgusting, I know. I just completely forgot about it.”

Elusive woman number 4

“My sister was showering at my place once, and we have a really small bathroom. The shower is one of those ones that sits over the bath. Anyway, I suppose she wasn’t used to the space, and when she bent over to pick up the shampoo, the sharp edge of the bath tap went up into her vagina. Like, right up in there.

image: http://i2.wp.com/mamamia-cdn.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/flowervagina.jpg

weird vagina stories
The most subtle of them all.
She got a huge cut inside her vagina. She was so petrified at the amount of blood that she called an ambulance. She ended up in the ER with several stitches. She was in so much pain. It was pretty funny though.”

Elusive woman number 5

“My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk, and we ended up having an epic fight. He decided at one point that he wanted to leave, and in my completely logical drunk brain, I thought the best way to stop him from drunk-driving would be to hide his car-key up my vajayjay. I eventually fell asleep and only remembered it was there when I woke up in the morning, really uncomfortable…”

Elusive woman number 6

“Okay, this is pretty gross. I was with my first boyfriend, and as you do with your first, we were experimenting with all different kinds of sex stuff for the first time. One night, we decided to see what it would be like for him to go down on me. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of him down there, I could feel something really wet. I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I sat up to take a look.

He had puked. He was so grossed out by what he was doing that he had actually puked all over my vagina. About ten years later, I found out he was gay, so that made me feel a little better – vaginas in general turned him off, not just mine!”


(http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/weird-vagina-stories/)

 

Do you have a weird/mortifying vagina story to share?

 

 

Vagina dentata (Latin for toothed vagina) describes a folk tale in which a woman's vagina is said to contain teeth, with the associated implication that sexual intercourse might result in injury, emasculation or castration for the man involved.

Such folk stories are frequently told as cautionary tales warning of the dangers of unknown women and to discourage rape.


Erich Neumann relays one such myth in which "a fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother; the hero is the man who overcomes the Terrible Mother, breaks the teeth out of her vagina, and so makes her into a woman".

The legend also appears in the mythology of the Chaco and Guiana tribes of South America. In some versions, the hero leaves one tooth.

In Hinduism, the asura Andhaka, son of Shiva and Parvati (but not aware of it), is killed by Shiva when he tries to force the disguised Shiva into surrendering Parvati. Andhaka's son Adi, also an asura, takes the form of Parvati to seduce and kill Shiva with a toothed vagina in order to avenge Andhaka, but is also slain.

In Shintoism the Ainu legend is that a sharp-toothed demon hid inside the vagina of a young woman andemasculated two young men on their wedding nights. Consequently the woman sought help from a blacksmith